i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
