I love black thongs
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm at about main and main street
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
