i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
