I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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