He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
