I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
As shirtless as possible
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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