and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
