We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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