I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
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