using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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