I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
