Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I need moral support for this bender
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
