he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
