Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Randomize
