he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
