all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
