bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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