so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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