is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
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