got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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