so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
