i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
