Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
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