Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
