what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
