I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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