also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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