who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
