He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
