pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
