But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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