He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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