hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
