Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Drunk is a universal language darling
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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