y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
