i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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