it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
