Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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