For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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