i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
