I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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