We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
