he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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