you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
