You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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