i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
