I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
