can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
