he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
