i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
